Halfrican

Mulatto Pride!! I am soooo just kidding. That image was just too hilarius for me to pass up.

I was reading an article in our local paper entitled "What Does It Mean To Be Biracial." Being biracial, it certainly caught my eye. The article mentioned how Julie Banderas of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh have referred to Barack Obama as Halfrican. Considering the source, I shouldn't be upset my it.

BUT it takes me back to 1981 as a first grader, swing on the monkey bars at good old Henry Adams Elementary School. This little black boy asked, "What are you?" another kid chimed in..."She's a zebra!" I was pissed then, and I'm pissed now. First, why should my race concern anyone? Do you have to know if I'm black or white to determine if you want to play with me on the monkey bars? Well, back then in the south I guess you did. My black heritage wouldn't have been welcome at every one's dinner table. So here I sit 27 years later, pissed off all over again at that mean little boy only now his skinny little black body has Rush Limbaugh's face on it.

Just for shits and giggles here are a few offensive names I've encountered because of my race: Mulatto, Mulatress (believe it,) Nigress (I swear I'm not lying), Swirl, Zebra, White Girl, Issue Child (as in Is you black or is you white?), and colored. All of these names make my skin crawl. Mixed isn't quite as bad, but I really prefer biracial or multiracial. How funny is it that I've been called a Nigress and a White Girl? I guess I'm too black or too white for some people!

Finding Bless

I'm feeling a little better now. I'm going to find a little bit of Lioness this weekend in Myrtle Beach. I have vowed to have a stress free weekend. I am completely overwhelmed with my life and responsibilities right now; and Lord I am so tired. Having Dory's short term memory loss doesn't help things. I wish I had her optimism and her free spirit. Maybe that's what I lost.

Lost.

I may as well be on the island with the Lost-Aways and the Others. I am Lost. Well, Lioness is Lost. For the most part she's gone. She's been taken over by Mama Lion. Everything I do revolves around my kids. I mean EVERYTHING. I don't have anything in my life that's just me. You might say that's part of being a Mom. It's not. When a woman decides to become a Mother she doesn't sign away her whole life. I have. You can take it as bitching and moaning or not. I am a point where I really don't care how people take me.

Thomas has special needs. I am finally getting him help. I've been screaming for help from his doctors for over 2 years. Unfortunately their egos are a lot bigger than their brains. I met 2 angels last week by the names of Cindy and Judy. They have offered their services to help my son become all that he can be. He's going to go to therapy twice a week. He's gifted, he's a sensory seeker, he has language processing disorder, he's loud, he needs tubes again, he touches everything and everybody, and thank God he has a huge heart....he's sweet.

Luke is 2. He runs, he sings, he crawls under chairs in waiting rooms, he kisses everyone, and wants to count your toes (even if you are a total stranger.) He's a tough little guy, often the victim of his brother's squishes. And oh, yeah....not he's not potty trained yet. Actually, I'm not even trying to potty train him right now. If you have a problem with it, by all means jump into my shoes for a good day. Hell, I'll give you 1/2 of a day.

I'm tired and I hurt. I have fibromyalgia an chronic back pain. My hands are full, along with my pockets and my purse. That cute, confident chic that was Lioness is gone. Hopefully she'll be back soon.

My husband? He's at work. Do you blame him??? Me either.